Monday, December 29, 2008
The two of them will drive back...she's had her car with her the whole time....and I fly back on Thursday. I hope this whacky weather we've been having doesn't leave me stranded in Chicago. That would suck.
Happy New Year in case I don't make it back in time. hahahahahahahahaha
Sunday, December 21, 2008
It's some kind of nasty out there. And, DANG...there's also a lot of snow. And that snow is just blowing around like Tazmanian Devils! Can't see out of any windows because the white stuff is just getting blown on and stuck. All the schools are closed for tomorrow. Already.
I'm having blizzard flashbacks here.
The Spouse and I took a ride over to My Maternal One's house. I'd talked to her earlier in the day when she was on her way out. And she couldn't get in her driveway. She'd just got back from church with the grandkid and was off to a christening and then to schlep another grandkid to somewhere else. The first grandkid that went to church with her helped her with the snow in the driveway. He's five. Thats right...a FIVE YEAR OLD was doing her driveway. She was a little concerned that she wouldn't be able to get in the garage when she got back from volunteering at the info desk at the hospital. K...I made The Spouse take me to the grocery store cuz I didn't want to drive and my mother is carting kids and doing all kinds of stuff. Bonus points to me for getting the ride to the store. Yay me. How spoiled do I sound?? So, anyway, we get to her house and the drift across the apron of her driveway is waist deep. Once we got the snowblower out of the truck it took about an hour to get up to the house. And this is not a long driveway she's got. Two car lengths perhaps. The Spouse did most of the work. I helped a little. And by helped I mean sat in the car and listened to the radio with the heat on and the heated seats working. More bonus points staying warm and dry. there's that spoiled thing again
Anyway..I lost track of where I was going with this story, so I'll just end here with some advice. It's shitty out. Do what Jimmy Griffin said to do during the Blizzard of '77..."Stay inside, grab a six-pack and watch a good football game.”
I talked to him today and this is what I hear..."You and your whining about no snow for Christmas. It hasn't stopped since you said that" Of course there was a bit of exaggeration there. I didn't whine and it didn't start snowing till Friday. And it didn't snow at all yesterday. Blowing and snowing today, of course, but hey!!! Its December and its Buffalo. Deal.
And this is what we're dealing with today....
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
They should be banned. There's a house on Union Road that has every conceivable blowup piece of crap ever made for Christmas crammed into their front yard. Stupid.
But that's just my opinion.
I do have to chuckle however, when I see one of the 'snow globe' ones. Yeah, when it gets real cold out all the 'snow' sticks to the inside of it and you can't see anything but the 'snow'.
Monday, December 08, 2008
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'
Sunday, December 07, 2008
The lights are all lit
It was cold and snowy
My feet were frost-bit
I've baked all the cookies
No more till next year
If The Spouse eats one more
He's out on his ear.
The tree is all decked out
There's sap in my hair
I've misplaced the vodka
It's around here somewhere.
All thats left is to shop
Gifts and goodies galore
Now where is that list
Before I head to the store.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
She had her knee scoped a couple years ago at an out patient facility that did nothing but orthopaedic work and it was great. We were in, we were out. This time, it was done in a hospital. We were in, but we were not out. I figured, since I took the day off from work today and I have to work a party tomorrow night after the regular lunch, I'd have all afternoon to make my pies for Thanksgiving after doing a little running around. HA!! Not to be. She was schedule for an 11:30 procedure. They didn't wheel her up till 1:30...the doctor didn't come see me till a little after 3...she didn't come out of anesthesia till 3:30...and they wouldn't let me back to recovery till after 4 and didn't let us leave till 5ish. By the time I got her home and settled and take off to the pharmacy to get the pain meds it was close to 7:00. Needless to say no running around was accomplished. I did get the pumpkin and the chocolate pies done and the apple is still in the oven as I type. The lemon will have to wait till tomorrow night when I get home. That should be about 11:00. PM. At night. No biggie since I can catch up on my sleep Thursday morning.
Now the "Pissing off a Nun" part. While we were on our marathon wait let me just say here that #4 is her father's daughter when it comes to waiting...I would have sworn it was him on that gurney bitching about every tick of the clock back in the pre-op room, this older woman comes up to #4 and reads her papers and then proceeds to announce that she's going to pray for her. So, anyway, here's this woman, going on and on and on. God bless Kerry, God bless the Doctors, God bless the hospital, the nurses, the guy who cleans up shit, blah blah blah blah blah for like 5 minutes! Now, #4 and I tend to get the giggles. Over stupid stuff. It does't take much, but when one starts, or if the other THINKS the other is gonna go, we're off to the races. I'm just sitting in a chair next to #4 watching to see what she's gonna do. She's got her eye on her book trying to focus on something other than this strange woman who's holding her hand. I mean if it had been a quick little blessing, bing, bang, boom, done, you're good, nothing would have happened. But no....after 3 or 4 minutes we knew it was gonna happen. I broke first...just a little, almost unnoticable snark that #4 picked right up on. This of course leads to her shaking whilst trying to stifle her giggle. It's over and we're both chuckling. Prayer Lady says "I don't think it's funny". #4 says, "I'm sorry". I say "She's just nervous about the procedure". I mean, what am I gonna say, 'sorry lady, we're not exactly the overly religious - pray about everthing type'? So does Prayer Lady end it there? ummmmm NO..she keeps going. I'm thinking Holy Crap...end it and move on, you're just making us giggle even more!!!! Finally she wraps it up and moves on to the next bed. Later we're talking to one of the nurses and #4 says "Prayer Lady kinda freaked me out a little" to which the nurse replies "Oh, yeah, we've asked Sister to kinda feel people out before she goes jumping into her prayers, but she doesn't think its necessary" I say "Sister??? she's a nun???? Great, we pissed off a nun now she probably dialed up The Big Guy and said...that one over there..forget what I said."
No doubt thats why we had a two hour delay and why its after 10:00 and I still have a pie in the oven.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
When Gramps was no longer able to drive, The Bun became a permanent fixture in our driveway. I used it for a while when I was, back then, doing newspaper deliveries. Then Offspring #1 started to drive and The Bun passed to her. She cracked it up once. #2 got her mitts on it. She cracked it up a couple times. # 3 had it for a while with no incident and now #4 is driving it. Brakes aren't working too well. There's an axle problem. Our mechanic The Spouse's cousin who's nursed her back to health since the beginning has made mention that no one should sit in the back seats because the floor boards are almost rotted out. seriously, the radio #4 put in has more value than the whole car. So we've made the decision to get the youngest a more reliable, safe vehicle. The Bun wouldn't have made it the winter. She'll now be an organ donor. Picked on for parts for all the other 1994 Teal Green Ford Tempos that are still seen around the WNY roads.
We'll miss ya, Bun.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The English Language shall be the official language of the country. You want to live here and be a citizen...speak the language. Worked in my grandfathers day, it'll work now. That was simple.
The Welfare System. I'm all for helping my fellow man, woman, person, whatever. But the time of sponging everything you can off the public trough is over. No more working the system. Not on my watch or my dollar. The other day I was at the grocery store. There was a mother there with 4 children. I dont know if they were hers or what, but they were together. Kiddies with those annyoying skate shoes wizzing all over, touching everything, whining, wrestling...you know what I mean, you've been there. The adult female on the phone gabbing about her date last night and "yes ma'am I got in his pants" and grabbing whatever off the shelves, oblivious to the fact that her spawn are even IN the store, much less wreaking havoc. She gets to the check-out....whips out her WIC card and her food stamps card and proceeds to leave the store with the gang of 4. Out in the parking lot, she loads her stuff...kids included, into a BRAND NEW CADILLAC ESCALADE!!!!! Ok....how does this happen? I'm paying for the groceries and she's got an $80,000 vehicle???? I dont think so..
From here on in, Welfare is no longer a job handed down to child, from parent from grandparent. The free lunch is over. There's new eligibility requirements to receive public assistance.
- Item First: Education. Every child covered under a WIC card shall be enrolled in school. Attendance is mandatory. Benefits are pro-rated to actual attendance dates. How do we keep track of that? you ask. Simple...swipe the WIC card to get in and out the door of the school.
- Item Second: Community Service for all WIC dependants ages 13 to 16. After school, go volunteer for something. Latch-key kid programs, washing the windows of the old lady down the street. Picking up trash. Something. ANYTHING!!! After age 16, volunteering can be eliminated if you've got a part time job. Flipping burgers, sweeping floors, delivering papers...whatever. This is where Corporate America comes in.
- Item Third: Public Assistance checks will be issued on the second and fourth friday of each month. You will be required to fill out a questionaire thats written in ENGLISH with answers written in ENGLISH. Not hard questions, not right or wrong questions, mind you, and not the same question each time...just to keep you honest. Anyone can memorize a question and answer..so, no cheating. And you'll have to pee in a cup. Lots of people with jobs have to wizz to work, so why not you too. Pass the drug test and we're good for another 2 weeks. Oh, and you need to be a citizen, born and bred, naturalized, whatever.
- Item Fourth: There will be a time limitation on benefits. If you can't lift yourself by the bootstraps in, say, 3 or 4 years, you ain't trying hard enough. I hear the mountains of Mexico are nice...go live there. The military could use some help too....enlist if you don't like the mountain views.
Corporate America has been feeding out of the public trough a little too much too. All those tax breaks and incentives you get and then you outsource your work to some third world nation. Uh nuh...no more. There's a bunch of people up there in the last category who'd like a job. I mean, all those requirements for assistance are a lot of work! I'm sure you've got something easier for them to do. They can be trained. The Unions can train them. They'll watch out for them to...make sure everything is fair. And you Union Guys over there...you'll not be gouging Corporate America anymore. Fair Pay for a Fair Workplace.
Health Care Insurance will be paid for by both Corporate America and Worker. Everyone chucks a few bucks in for Health Care Coverage. Your coverage being dependent on how much you put in. Better job, better insurance. Want better insurance...work a little harder and get a better job. And since Corporate America's outsourcing is about to stop, there will be a few more jobs around here. And Insurance Companies will NOT be the final say in what treatment a patient can or cannot have. Insurance Companies will NOT tell you what doctor you can or cannot see. Insurance Companies are there to assist in the payment of the medical bill. Insurance Companies can also be included up there in Corporate America. Insurance and Pharmaceutcal Companies are right there at the top of my list of things ruining this country.
International Relations Starting today, all that aid we're sending your way is no longer being delivered. And those lopsided trade agreements??? They accidentally went thru the shredder. You'll pay the same duty/tax on the stuff you send over here, that we pay for our stuff to come to you. Our military, for the most part, is coming home. We've got some work to do over here. Oh, we'll leave a bit of a contingent scattered around, but thats just security work. Our security, not yours. There's some nasty gang bangers we could be working on,and our borders could use a little shoring up. Like the Welfare Requirements outlined above, there will be some work needed to pick our pockets. Get in line and have your written applications for aid filled out in triplicate. We'll get to them as soon as we're done taking care of our people here. Got a nasty natural disaster on your hands? We'll be there, but we're not staying long. We'll help you get back on your feet, and we're outties.
I'm sure I'll think of more stuff, but I just wanted to get the big ticket items in order first.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a mashed potato snob. None of this 'boil water, throw the dehydrated, processed, lifeless flakes in and, voila, mashed potatoes' crap for me. I grew up on those. My grandmother worked at General Mills a good portion of her adult life. We'd get from her, with regularity, what were called "Grab Bags". 4 foot tall brown bags of mystery food. You never knew exatly what you were gonna get. Full of all kinds of GM products. Brownies, cookie mixes...all kinds of good stuff. And Cheerios...lots and LOTS of *blech* Cheerios. *I suppose we got all those Cheerios cuz they were made right downtown. Still are. If you're ever down by the arena and you think...'gawd what is that smell?' its the Cheerios.* And Potato Buds. Instant mashed potatoes. I have more a liking for the taste of the box than the buds. My mom's not famous for her culinary skills *Well .... she kinda is .... but not in a delicious way* so, needless to say..we ate a lot of Potato Buds.
Aaaannnyyyway... I've been seeing this commerical on TV for these Steam 'n Mash Potatoes, by Ore-Ida. Given my history with processed spuds, I immediately thought.."pfffffftttt....yeah right.....THOSE are gonna taste right...I don't THINK so." And never thought any more of them. Till today. I was wandering around aimlessly in Tops looking for something for dinner and I hit upon meatloaf and mashed when I went by the freezer aisle and saw them.
So, I thought..."Hey...it's only The Spouse and I for dinner, what the hell? I'll give it a shot". 10 minutes in the microwave and I'm still a little skeptical. But they look like boiled potatoes so I'm intrigued. A little butter, a little milk, some salt and pepper, and SHAZAM! mashed potatoes.
And they actually taste....well...they taste good. These taters are tasty! And you get a decent bit of them, volume wise. I had some. The Spouse had some. He packed some for lunch tomorrow and there's enough for Offspring #1 if she wants some.
That meatloaf looks rather delicious too!!
I cant find my receipt, but if I recall correctly, they were, like, $3something. Best part, 0 Calories from fat. Well..till you add the butter. There are 260 grams of sodium, from the brine its cooked in I think. Only 3 ingredients....potatoes, salt and disodium dihydrogen pyrophosphate. whatever that is
I'd buy them again.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Why join a bowling league of course!!! Mixed Doubles is the way to go. The Spouse and I have been teamed up with The Spouse's Bestest Buddy Since High School and his bride, for a good number of years now. In this league we have the broadest spectrum of bowlers...from kids in their 20's to kids in their 60's. Quite possible in their 70's. All for fun. Friendly rivalries. Best of all...no "Blood Bowlers". Everyone gets along, blah blah blah blah. So, anyway, The Bestest Buddy and I are in charge of our team mascots. Hot and Shot.
Aren't they just so cute? Of course, this is before they get hammered and before they go thru their pregame rituals and stuff. These are some bad bad piggies. Each of 'em gets a chug off a beer and then get a little sumthin' sumthin' before the first ball is thrown. Before you know it...they've had way more beer than a little piggie should.
Before last night we were 1 game out of first place. Last night we won 2 and lost 2, and I have no idea how the #1 team did, but I'm pretty sure we're still up there at the top, if not on top. Not that it matters....cuz there's no Blood Bowlers. *evil chuckle*
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
HAMBURG, N.Y. (WIVB) - Is road kill on the menu at a popular Hamburg, NY restaurant? A disturbing discovery at the China King Restaurant has forced health officials to lock the doors.
Lisa Williams was going to eat in the restaurant when she got some upsetting news. "Were you coming to eat here?" "Yeah, we were coming to eat." "Did you hear what happened?" "No." "Health inspectors closed it down because there was road kill out here, a deer." "Oh no."
People who came to China King for their Friday dinner found it hard to believe. A dead deer had been butchered inside the kitchen in the restaurant they've been coming to for years.
Patron, Sue Bender said, "Our daughter just called us because she knows this is our take out Chinese, and told us, you're not going to believe what was just on Channel Four."
A witness tells us he saw an oriental man dragging the deer inside.
"I watched him drag it across the parking lot and he dragged it through the front door of the China King Restaurant. I said this is just not right, so I called Hamburg Police and reported it. Sure enough by the time they got there, they said that he had the deer almost all butchered inside the restaurant."
Another patron wonders, "How stupid could that man be? To let that go on."
Erie County Health Commissioner, Dr Anthony Billitier said, "I don't know what the intention was with the deer, but they can't do that in the restaurant even if they were going to use it for private consumption. It's not consistent with the sanitary code.
Its a story that's closed down the restaurant and caused patron to loose their appetite
Lisa Williams said, "That's disgusting, I'll never eat Chinese again. I'm sorry for all these people out there. That's gross."
When asked if Sue Bender will come here again? She replied, "never...never."
The Health Commissioner tells News4 a hearing with the owner is scheduled for next week.
Story by Tricia Cruz, WIVB
Monday, October 20, 2008
Let's see what the board says, Johnny!
Let me say that again....Two hundred and nine thousand dollars. Now, that might not seem like a lot considering housing prices around the country. I watch House Hunters and My House Is Worth What and all that stuff on HGTV. Religiously. I know what real estate is going for everywhere else. I know that I could sell my house for half a mill if we lived anywhere else, say, the other side of the state. But this is Western New York. Erie County. Cheektowaga. First ring suburb to the city of Buffalo. Hot Damn!!!
About a year ago, there was a bidding war on a house similar to the 209 house on the other side of the circle that is my neighborhood. They got, like, $195k or something. I was a little shocked at that but this!!!! Topping the 200k mark is amazing to me. Let's hope he gets it!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
I even made sure I had a pineapple in the house on delivery day. I know what you're thinking, "what a loser" but hey, the little things exite me, k? Don't judge.
Now....anyone who knows me, knows I'm not one to go into a tizzy about anything. I don't know where the panic button is around here cuz I never use it. That's me..calm, cool, and collected. Just a character trait.
But today,GOOD LAWD I came this close. I chopped the top of a pineapple off and I open the drawer to find my new toy and *GASP* it's not there. Its not in any other drawer, or cabinet or a pot or pan, no not in the dishwasher. IT'S FRIGGIN DISAPPEARED!!!!!
My heart started beating a little faster...I'm muttering stuff to myself...I'm ripping stuff out of everywhere and I just CAN'T FIND IT!!!! I'm gonna strangle the person who took it. And I looked in every cabinet and every drawer, like 3 times. I've got a galley kitchen and I went in a big circle for a good half hour.
Turns out it was still in the sink, under a bowl. I'm getting all uptight cuz I can't find my shiney new toy and there it is right in front of me...sorta.
Lame. But I'm all better now!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
And now we're scrapping Plan A (new slider, covered porch, patio and pool) and going to Plan B (new slider, bigger covered porch, patio). We had the pool guy over the other day and, even though we came in $3,000 below my estimated budget, we're eliminating the pool. No way we can justify spending 27G's on a hole in the ground we're only able to use 4 or 5 months out of the year. It's a no brainer. You get hot..come in the house, we got A/C. And with a roof over a nice big porch, we won't be roasting out back. That side of the house faces east and we get glaring sun out there till at least 4:00 in the afternoon during summer. Another plus...That roof will help protect the dining area in the kitchen from the heat. I mean, we cant even open the curtains for the slider cuz of the solar rays.
Monday, September 22, 2008
This is what she sees from her front porch.
This is her eldest...Stephen and the puppy, Sophie.
The leaves have really started to turn out that way.
Not so much yet back here in suburbia.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
They put Bruce Smith's name up on the Wall. You can't really see by this picture, but trust me...his name is there.
And the Bills won on a last second field goal to be the ONLY undefeated team in the AFC East. Thats right...I said it...Bills and undefeated in the same sentence. That hasn't happened since 1992 or 93..one of those years
Thursday, September 18, 2008
And then there's this one...
And you tell me over and over and over again my friend, you dont believe we're on the eve of destruction.
This is the scene yesterday. Johnny Five came over to give us a hand. He wanted the scrap metal, he's got the scrap metal. Of course, in any project around here, there's beer involved.......
....and power tools. Beer and powertools...thats our motto!
And what was I doing whilst the boys were destrucing you ask? I wasn't just taking pictures, I played the part of helper and lugged all that scrap out front to JT's truck. Quite a nice job of stacking, don't you think?
This is all that's left. We just have to cut up the remnants of the liner into managable pieces and haul it out for garbage day on Monday. The garbage men are a little picky about what they pick up. If it's too heavy, it'll sit there.
When we were all done, we got cleaned up, JT went and picked up the bride and we went over to Famous Dave's for some ribs. And more beer.Next on the agenda.....the deck. It's all coming down. That's a LOT of damn wood. Good thing there's people who are interested in taking it. We'll be having a 'deck destruction' party in the next couple of weeks.
We'll have beer.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
It went from this........
Ok..right about now you're thinking "B-F-D..it's the same picture". AuContraire my friends, its not the same picture. My facelift was so subtle that its hardly noticable. I painted the face of the shelves and a thin part of the crown moulding at the top black. It looks much more dramatic in person than it does in these crappy pictures that I took with my phone cuz my camera batteries were dead.
Step off, Martha Stewart...I'm here now.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
I cleaned the house the weekend before last. Moved furniture. Rearranged. Puttered. Just did stuff. One week later the house is still clean. Still smells clean too.
This Empty Nest Business (ENB) isn't a bad gig . Its a dry run for ENB around here. #3 will be back in January. #4 will be back in May not counting Christmas Break. Am I allowed to say Christmas Break anymore? Did it officially become Winter Break? Can I even say Christmas? #2 prolly won't be back anytime soon. #1, well...she's still here, and I'm down with that...but she's never home very much and she'll be gone in a wink of an eye anyway. I've decided that I'm going to be practicing real hard so I get used to the new lifestyle in the short time I have right now, insuring that I'm fully prepared when ENB is for real.
Offspring #4 is all set up with the dorm...she left Saturday. I went and visited yesterday after work, since I had to work Saturday and Sunday when she moved in and Monday we went out to the lake. Nice place. Brand new. She's in a 4 bedroom suite with only one other suite mate. She's lovin it so far. She's even *gasps* cooked for herself. AND cooked for the boys in the next suite. I'm thinking..."Danger, Danger Will Robinson!" dangerous precedent being set...they're gonna have her cook all the time, but no! They cooked for her last night. So thats cool.
I saw an article in the News today about a couple in Niagara Falls who left their children in their car. In the sun. With the windows rolled up. On an 85 degree day. What the hell is wrong with these people???? The mother says they were just there for a few minutes. The neighbors said it was over 30 minutes. The oldest kid said it was for 'a long time'. The cops had to convice the oldest kid to unlock the doors so they could get them out. The cops said they were soaking wet from sweat. I cant believe they're not dead.
Now..here's the kicker....the kids were ages 9, 2 and 6 weeks. Ok..thats not the kicker, this is... The Sperm Donor was 21 and the Incubator was 22. Lets do math people....the Incubator was all of 13 when she first reproduced....THIRTEEN!!!
I have no words for this.
Well, slap me in the ass and paint the barn red. Not 3 minutes after posting this, what do I get?? Offspring walking thru the door. I guess practice is just going to have to start slow. ;-)
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
From my perch on my chair..this was the view to my right..
This picture down below here is my current desktop.
From my perch in my chair, this was my view dead ahead....
Thursday, August 28, 2008
The Spouse and I headed downtown early and we stopped at Dug's Dive for a beverage before the game. As it happened it was 2-4-1 happy hour from 3 till 6, so we had two. We're sitting there on the deck.....
....very peaceful and picturesque little setting, located right in the small boat harbor. Food smelled fantastic and we should have had a little dinner, but considering the game was going to start in an hour, we just stuck with our liquid diet. We'll dine next time we go....
For some reason....the windmills weren't working last night...none of them.
There was a sailboat race going on just over the breakwall....kinda hard to see in this picture down here....
So, anyway...we're sitting on the deck, having a couple, relaxing, talking....
When all of a sudden, The Spouse lets out this belch....not a loud one, mind you, just a little beer burp...and out of the corner of my eye, I see it....this toxic cloud...coming right at me. I had no time to react. My eyes were watering and I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Gross! After he gets done laughing at me while I'm gasping for breathable air, he says..."oh, yeah, that reminds me, I went to lunch today with Joe Head of the Ice Rink and got the rink back...with a 3 year service contract". Apparently, the noxious fumes triggered his memory of the burger he had for lunch. To which I replied..."Nice. And you and your digestive system just made my blog, pal".
Thursday, August 21, 2008
There he is...waving to someone over there....
Oh, look..our favorite State Assemblyman. We love this guy too!