Saturday, July 26, 2008

Whats with people???

I just dont understand. Seemingly normal people gather for a celebration of some sort at a nice place and turn into friggin manner-less morons.

Why, yes...even tho this is the buffet table, we really love it when you move stuff around in order to position your glasses and beer bottles and purses and the occasional ass. Clearly, the flaming sterno and steam coming from the chafing dishes shouldnt interfere in your comfort.

Why, yes...we love it when you bring your attention deficit, over sugared, smart ass little children to what is clearly an adult affair. You just get comfy at the bar or your table with your beverage and gossip about this and that while the spawn run rampant and unsupervised.

By all means...please extinguish your cigarette on the patio, or the well manicured lawn, or just throw them into the bushes. Those ashtrays we have positioned around are just for decoration.

And don't forget...when the dessert is served, make sure you're first in line to pile up as much stuff as you can. Dont worry about those people at the end of the line...they dont really need anything sweet. They're just standing there to see how much you can put on your plate. We'll dispose of all the leftover sweets you leave on the table when you roll your lard ass out of the joint.

Can you tell we had a nerve wracking party today? This little red headed monster wasn't in the place 10 minutes and she caused over $150 worth of damage. She broke a statue, tipped over a small marble topped table, nearly knocked out the lattice while trying to climb the gazebo, and broke a plant. I blame the parents. "oh, Skyler, say you're sorry....tell the man, you're sorry for breaking his statue"...and she stands there with her finger in her mouth not saying a word. 5 minutes later, mommy is back with a drink in her hand and the little red wrecking machine is tearing up the place again. I mean, c'mon...offer to pay for the thing!!! Show some class!! Show some balls and teach your kid some manners. Better, yet...leave them home. And no...perhaps we shouldn't "move this stuff so the kids don't ruin it" Do you believe that?? Someone actually said that to me today as I was picking up the aforementioned marble topped table that little Jason ran into for the third time.

"Maybe you should move this stuff so the kids don't get at it".

To which I replied, "Perhaps the kids should be watched"

"We are watching them" he says

"Humpf....Tell that to the statue with the broken arm over there" What an asshole. Move the stuff my Aunt Fanny! Do us a favor and dont reproduce anymore, k?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I've been mulling this one over for a while..

...when I was in NJ, I stepped out to have a smoke during the reception and this woman says to me... (in a thick NJ accent) "Thaaats a vaary attraaactive ooouutfit you're weaaaaring. I wouldn't have tha nerrrrve to weeeaaar it myself but it looks vaary attraaactive on ewe"

Ummmmmm...ok..thank you I think?


Why cant shower heads in hotels be installed higher? I'm tall but I'm not a contortionist, thank you very much. Its rather unsafe to be doing the limbo whilst trying to wash my hair.

Thats all

Monday, July 21, 2008

On New Jersey

Ever drive in New Jersey? How 'bout that roadway system? Nicely laid out, ain't it? Ummmm.....I don't think so! Took us all of 10 minutes to get lost. And we followed the directions from the hotel website, the car rental guy, the 'let me show you your car' guy, and the attendant at the gate. It took the nice 'can you fix me up with some food so I gave him a couple bucks' crackhead guy at the gas station in the middle of the ghetto to get us where we needed to go. Maybe it was cuz he repeated the directions so many times...or perhaps it was the hopping around and waving that let us to the Garden State Parkway...I dunno. By the time we get to our hotel in Toms River...its l:00ish. It should have been 8ish but we didnt take off from Buffalo until 8:30...almost a 2 hour delay due to weather on the coast. Then, funny story, I'm checking into the hotel and the guy says...'sign this, its our no smoking and no party policy'. Being a little punchy from the flight, which by the way only lasted 45 minutes, and the fun ride, with The Maternal Unit as my navigator...(thats a whole 'nother story in itself) I say...'yeah, its me and my mom, she's, like 70 something..and her twin is here too...we're gonna party lots!' He kinda chuckled...the polite chuckle you give when its not really funny and you wish the person would just be on their way.

So, anyway...the wedding was nice. Unbelievable food. The buffet during cocktail hour could have fed an army. And then they bring out the dinner buffet. You name it, they had it.

Best part was going to Sea Side Boardwalk Saturday night. I love beaches and boardwalks. In fact..I could be a beach bum. Seriously. Its my ambition. I just need to win the lottery so I can have the expensive condo on the beach.

Here's a little slide show, mostly of the boardwalk. I didnt take too many pictures. I dont really know why..I just didnt

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Got food??? or Festival Time, Part Deux

My Festival Companion a/k/a Offspring#3 and I just got back from The Taste of Buffalo. We went earlyish again to avoid the crowds and the heat. We escaped neither!!! Thankyajeeesis for the breeze off the natural airconditioner that is Lake Erie. In the words of my companion .. 'whewwww its hot out here'.

With food tickets purchased we start out on our culinary journey. Deep Fried Ravioli seemed like the best way to start things.

We were there, like, 10 minutes and one of the first stops we made was at Ms Goodies stand(also where we ended our trip, but more on that later)for an ear of roasted sweet corn. There's nothing like an ear of corn roasted over an open it love it. Anyway...#3 opens up the husks of her corn, takes one bite and this guy comes up between us with this news camera and starts taping her whilst she's munching on the corn...too cool."We just want to get you eating the corn" he says. And she's trying not to laugh while she's eating and she's got this little string of corn silk hanging off her lip and I'm having this Roseanne Rosannadanna moment with the 'little bitty corn silk just hangin' right there on her lip. It just wouldnt fall off...I thought I was gonna die!!" Now we have to watch Ch.7 News to see if she made the highlight reel. We continued down Delaware sampling a little of this and a little of that...all of it good.

Now back to Ms Goodies....when #3 was getting her ear, one of the other items being sold at the booth was a "Junkyard Dog". It looked really good and smelled even better, so I thought that perhaps I'd get one after we made the rounds and saw what the other wares were up and down the festival. Well,,,dontcha know, the Junkyard Dogs was on my mind the whole time and I decided that I had have one. Try this on for size.....

A piece of deep fried fish...done to perfection, I might add...topped with french fries, coleslaw and hot sauce, wrapped up in a lightly deep fried pita.

DING DING DING!!!!!! We have a winner!!! Unfreakingbelieveably DELICIOUS!!!

That thing pretty much did us in.

I'm going to take a nap

Saturday, July 05, 2008

What??? A softball field in my backyard???

Either that or some cosmic crop circle from some unknown alien who swooped down. Is swooped a word?

This is the aftermath of last weeks mudbowl grad party. It looks like 1/2 an infield....and the grass looks dead. A couple of days ago it looked like mudcaked grass...and now, not so much.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Captain America!!!

It just wouldnt be a holiday without Johnny Five wearing a hat

For more pics from the Festive Fourth at Lynn and Al's out at the lake go here

I finally went over to the Apple store

So, yeah, ever since I had to have the computer reformatted I was hesitant about reinstalling Itunes cuz a bunch of people told me that I'd lose all the tuneage I purchased from the Itunes store. Thats a couple hundred dollars worth of music people!!!

I told the guy at Apple my predicament and he explained that if I do this and that then this, then all should be well. Well...I got the Itunes program back on my computer and VOILA!!! All the music was still there!!! I was esctatic!!

Remember, transfer and sync...not erase and sync.

Wish me luck...I'm goin in.

Happy Independence Day!

The Spouse and I and 10 of our friends went to the Bison's Game/July 3rd Extravaganza last night. Good times, good times.

Too bad the Bisons lost....down 6-2 in the 9th and they come back to tie it, but lose it in the 13th. Yeah...thats right the 13th inning. It was kind of a long game.

The BPO played all their patriotic music and then the fireworks started.

I was a little diappointed in the fireworks....they werent as spectacular as in past years...I couldnt even get a decent photo of them. Well...I got a couple of so-so ones but we were sitting behind home plate, and we had that protective netting above us, so all the pics I took look like I took them from a camera in my knee while I was wearing fishnet hose. So I lifted the fireworks pic above from google images.

We did seem to enjoy quite a few of these....

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Girls night

We went to see Wicked last night. My Maternal Unit, 3 of the 4 Offspring and #4's best friend...(who is actually an Honorary Offspring).

What a fantastic show!!! I had high expectations...after hearing all sorts of good things from numerous people...and my expectations were surpassed. I laughed, I cried. It was amazing. Katie Rose Clarke, who played Glinda (aka Galinda with a 'Ga') was freakin hilarious and played the part perfectly. Carmen Cusak as Elphaba, equally amazing...what a set of pipes on that woman.

The restoration at Shea's is beautiful. That grand old theatre looks divine.

I took this pic with my phone...its not the clearest picture but I had to throw it in here.