Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Best Laid Plans..... Or.....How To Piss Off A Nun

Eventful day today. Offspring #4 went in for her shoulder surgery this morning. Nothing real serious. An arthroscopic out patient procedure to fix a tear and clean up some burrs and make sure everything was repositioned back where it was supposed to be so that horrible bone on bone cracking noise would be gone.

She had her knee scoped a couple years ago at an out patient facility that did nothing but orthopaedic work and it was great. We were in, we were out. This time, it was done in a hospital. We were in, but we were not out. I figured, since I took the day off from work today and I have to work a party tomorrow night after the regular lunch, I'd have all afternoon to make my pies for Thanksgiving after doing a little running around. HA!! Not to be. She was schedule for an 11:30 procedure. They didn't wheel her up till 1:30...the doctor didn't come see me till a little after 3...she didn't come out of anesthesia till 3:30...and they wouldn't let me back to recovery till after 4 and didn't let us leave till 5ish. By the time I got her home and settled and take off to the pharmacy to get the pain meds it was close to 7:00. Needless to say no running around was accomplished. I did get the pumpkin and the chocolate pies done and the apple is still in the oven as I type. The lemon will have to wait till tomorrow night when I get home. That should be about 11:00. PM. At night. No biggie since I can catch up on my sleep Thursday morning.

Now the "Pissing off a Nun" part. While we were on our marathon wait let me just say here that #4 is her father's daughter when it comes to waiting...I would have sworn it was him on that gurney bitching about every tick of the clock back in the pre-op room, this older woman comes up to #4 and reads her papers and then proceeds to announce that she's going to pray for her. So, anyway, here's this woman, going on and on and on. God bless Kerry, God bless the Doctors, God bless the hospital, the nurses, the guy who cleans up shit, blah blah blah blah blah for like 5 minutes! Now, #4 and I tend to get the giggles. Over stupid stuff. It does't take much, but when one starts, or if the other THINKS the other is gonna go, we're off to the races. I'm just sitting in a chair next to #4 watching to see what she's gonna do. She's got her eye on her book trying to focus on something other than this strange woman who's holding her hand. I mean if it had been a quick little blessing, bing, bang, boom, done, you're good, nothing would have happened. But no....after 3 or 4 minutes we knew it was gonna happen. I broke first...just a little, almost unnoticable snark that #4 picked right up on. This of course leads to her shaking whilst trying to stifle her giggle. It's over and we're both chuckling. Prayer Lady says "I don't think it's funny". #4 says, "I'm sorry". I say "She's just nervous about the procedure". I mean, what am I gonna say, 'sorry lady, we're not exactly the overly religious - pray about everthing type'? So does Prayer Lady end it there? ummmmm NO..she keeps going. I'm thinking Holy Crap...end it and move on, you're just making us giggle even more!!!! Finally she wraps it up and moves on to the next bed. Later we're talking to one of the nurses and #4 says "Prayer Lady kinda freaked me out a little" to which the nurse replies "Oh, yeah, we've asked Sister to kinda feel people out before she goes jumping into her prayers, but she doesn't think its necessary" I say "Sister??? she's a nun???? Great, we pissed off a nun now she probably dialed up The Big Guy and said...that one over there..forget what I said."

No doubt thats why we had a two hour delay and why its after 10:00 and I still have a pie in the oven.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bun Update

The Bun has been SAVED!!!! She won't be harvested for parts after all.

Just found out today that some sucker savvy consumer bought her today.

Caveat Emptor is all I can say

Friday, November 14, 2008

Requiem To The Bun

A long time ago ok, it was only 1994...in a land far, far away, ok, it was Lackawanna Grandpa Adam the Spouse's grandpa bought a car. Brand spankin' new 1994 Teal Green Ford Tempo, which he tooled around town in. Over here. Over there. Down to the Post really, mostly down to The Post . His 4 great granddaughters, smart little dickens that they were referred to this 1994 Teal Green Ford Tempo as "The Bun" because the first 3 letters of his license plate were how cute is this .. B-U-N. The name stuck and she was forever know as "The Bun".

When Gramps was no longer able to drive, The Bun became a permanent fixture in our driveway. I used it for a while when I was, back then, doing newspaper deliveries. Then Offspring #1 started to drive and The Bun passed to her. She cracked it up once. #2 got her mitts on it. She cracked it up a couple times. # 3 had it for a while with no incident and now #4 is driving it. Brakes aren't working too well. There's an axle problem. Our mechanic The Spouse's cousin who's nursed her back to health since the beginning has made mention that no one should sit in the back seats because the floor boards are almost rotted out. seriously, the radio #4 put in has more value than the whole car. So we've made the decision to get the youngest a more reliable, safe vehicle. The Bun wouldn't have made it the winter. She'll now be an organ donor. Picked on for parts for all the other 1994 Teal Green Ford Tempos that are still seen around the WNY roads.

We'll miss ya, Bun.

Sign of the Apocalypse

I'm driving home from work tonite and I'm surfing the radio dial cuz I stupidly left my iPod at home and what do I find?????

Star 102.5 is now playing Christmas music.

All day fricken' long.

For the next six weeks.


Monday, November 10, 2008

The Eleventh Hour Of the Eleventh Day of the Eleventh Month

It Was Bound To Happen

It is mid November, after all. But after last weeks tropical, yes I mean tropical...we had the same temps as Tampa Bay...we got a little spoiled.

Not quite a winter wonderland yet....there's was only about an inch on the ground, but its a start.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Alrighty....I've just been elected to the highest office in the land and I'm formulating my agenda.

The English Language shall be the official language of the country. You want to live here and be a citizen...speak the language. Worked in my grandfathers day, it'll work now. That was simple.

The Welfare System. I'm all for helping my fellow man, woman, person, whatever. But the time of sponging everything you can off the public trough is over. No more working the system. Not on my watch or my dollar. The other day I was at the grocery store. There was a mother there with 4 children. I dont know if they were hers or what, but they were together. Kiddies with those annyoying skate shoes wizzing all over, touching everything, whining, wrestling...you know what I mean, you've been there. The adult female on the phone gabbing about her date last night and "yes ma'am I got in his pants" and grabbing whatever off the shelves, oblivious to the fact that her spawn are even IN the store, much less wreaking havoc. She gets to the check-out....whips out her WIC card and her food stamps card and proceeds to leave the store with the gang of 4. Out in the parking lot, she loads her stuff...kids included, into a BRAND NEW CADILLAC ESCALADE!!!!! Ok....how does this happen? I'm paying for the groceries and she's got an $80,000 vehicle???? I dont think so..

From here on in, Welfare is no longer a job handed down to child, from parent from grandparent. The free lunch is over. There's new eligibility requirements to receive public assistance.

  • Item First: Education. Every child covered under a WIC card shall be enrolled in school. Attendance is mandatory. Benefits are pro-rated to actual attendance dates. How do we keep track of that? you ask. Simple...swipe the WIC card to get in and out the door of the school.
  • Item Second: Community Service for all WIC dependants ages 13 to 16. After school, go volunteer for something. Latch-key kid programs, washing the windows of the old lady down the street. Picking up trash. Something. ANYTHING!!! After age 16, volunteering can be eliminated if you've got a part time job. Flipping burgers, sweeping floors, delivering papers...whatever. This is where Corporate America comes in.
  • Item Third: Public Assistance checks will be issued on the second and fourth friday of each month. You will be required to fill out a questionaire thats written in ENGLISH with answers written in ENGLISH. Not hard questions, not right or wrong questions, mind you, and not the same question each time...just to keep you honest. Anyone can memorize a question and answer..so, no cheating. And you'll have to pee in a cup. Lots of people with jobs have to wizz to work, so why not you too. Pass the drug test and we're good for another 2 weeks. Oh, and you need to be a citizen, born and bred, naturalized, whatever.
  • Item Fourth: There will be a time limitation on benefits. If you can't lift yourself by the bootstraps in, say, 3 or 4 years, you ain't trying hard enough. I hear the mountains of Mexico are nice...go live there. The military could use some help too....enlist if you don't like the mountain views.

Corporate America has been feeding out of the public trough a little too much too. All those tax breaks and incentives you get and then you outsource your work to some third world nation. Uh nuh...no more. There's a bunch of people up there in the last category who'd like a job. I mean, all those requirements for assistance are a lot of work! I'm sure you've got something easier for them to do. They can be trained. The Unions can train them. They'll watch out for them to...make sure everything is fair. And you Union Guys over there...you'll not be gouging Corporate America anymore. Fair Pay for a Fair Workplace.

Health Care Insurance will be paid for by both Corporate America and Worker. Everyone chucks a few bucks in for Health Care Coverage. Your coverage being dependent on how much you put in. Better job, better insurance. Want better insurance...work a little harder and get a better job. And since Corporate America's outsourcing is about to stop, there will be a few more jobs around here. And Insurance Companies will NOT be the final say in what treatment a patient can or cannot have. Insurance Companies will NOT tell you what doctor you can or cannot see. Insurance Companies are there to assist in the payment of the medical bill. Insurance Companies can also be included up there in Corporate America. Insurance and Pharmaceutcal Companies are right there at the top of my list of things ruining this country.

International Relations Starting today, all that aid we're sending your way is no longer being delivered. And those lopsided trade agreements??? They accidentally went thru the shredder. You'll pay the same duty/tax on the stuff you send over here, that we pay for our stuff to come to you. Our military, for the most part, is coming home. We've got some work to do over here. Oh, we'll leave a bit of a contingent scattered around, but thats just security work. Our security, not yours. There's some nasty gang bangers we could be working on,and our borders could use a little shoring up. Like the Welfare Requirements outlined above, there will be some work needed to pick our pockets. Get in line and have your written applications for aid filled out in triplicate. We'll get to them as soon as we're done taking care of our people here. Got a nasty natural disaster on your hands? We'll be there, but we're not staying long. We'll help you get back on your feet, and we're outties.

I'm sure I'll think of more stuff, but I just wanted to get the big ticket items in order first.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Where's the Daylight???

It's 6:00

It's been completely dark for about an hour.

I hate Daylight Savings Time.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Another Unsolicited Product Review

When it comes to mashed potatoes...I'm totally old school. Russet potatoes. I buy 'em, I peel 'em, I boil 'em, I mash 'em.

I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a mashed potato snob. None of this 'boil water, throw the dehydrated, processed, lifeless flakes in and, voila, mashed potatoes' crap for me. I grew up on those. My grandmother worked at General Mills a good portion of her adult life. We'd get from her, with regularity, what were called "Grab Bags". 4 foot tall brown bags of mystery food. You never knew exatly what you were gonna get. Full of all kinds of GM products. Brownies, cookie mixes...all kinds of good stuff. And Cheerios...lots and LOTS of *blech* Cheerios. *I suppose we got all those Cheerios cuz they were made right downtown. Still are. If you're ever down by the arena and you think...'gawd what is that smell?' its the Cheerios.* And Potato Buds. Instant mashed potatoes. I have more a liking for the taste of the box than the buds. My mom's not famous for her culinary skills *Well .... she kinda is .... but not in a delicious way* so, needless to say..we ate a lot of Potato Buds.

Aaaannnyyyway... I've been seeing this commerical on TV for these Steam 'n Mash Potatoes, by Ore-Ida. Given my history with processed spuds, I immediately thought.."pfffffftttt....yeah right.....THOSE are gonna taste right...I don't THINK so." And never thought any more of them. Till today. I was wandering around aimlessly in Tops looking for something for dinner and I hit upon meatloaf and mashed when I went by the freezer aisle and saw them.

So, I thought..."Hey...it's only The Spouse and I for dinner, what the hell? I'll give it a shot". 10 minutes in the microwave and I'm still a little skeptical. But they look like boiled potatoes so I'm intrigued. A little butter, a little milk, some salt and pepper, and SHAZAM! mashed potatoes.

And they actually taste....well...they taste good. These taters are tasty! And you get a decent bit of them, volume wise. I had some. The Spouse had some. He packed some for lunch tomorrow and there's enough for Offspring #1 if she wants some.

That meatloaf looks rather delicious too!!

I cant find my receipt, but if I recall correctly, they were, like, $3something. Best part, 0 Calories from fat. Well..till you add the butter. There are 260 grams of sodium, from the brine its cooked in I think. Only 3 ingredients....potatoes, salt and disodium dihydrogen pyrophosphate. whatever that is

I'd buy them again.

Just think...In a few short hours.....

....we won't have to listen to anymore political ads!!!!!

....we can answer our phones again!!!! Thank your particular spiritual entity for caller ID.

The end of the nasty stuff is here!!

I've waited a long time for this

Sunday, November 02, 2008

This was the scene this morning. No..thats not snow...its frost. Everything was so shiney and glittery this morning and the color of that tree is fantastic.

When Pigs Go Bad

Whats the best way to spend the months of September thru April in Buffalo?

Why join a bowling league of course!!! Mixed Doubles is the way to go. The Spouse and I have been teamed up with The Spouse's Bestest Buddy Since High School and his bride, for a good number of years now. In this league we have the broadest spectrum of bowlers...from kids in their 20's to kids in their 60's. Quite possible in their 70's. All for fun. Friendly rivalries. Best of all...no "Blood Bowlers". Everyone gets along, blah blah blah blah. So, anyway, The Bestest Buddy and I are in charge of our team mascots. Hot and Shot.

Aren't they just so cute? Of course, this is before they get hammered and before they go thru their pregame rituals and stuff. These are some bad bad piggies. Each of 'em gets a chug off a beer and then get a little sumthin' sumthin' before the first ball is thrown. Before you know it...they've had way more beer than a little piggie should.

Before last night we were 1 game out of first place. Last night we won 2 and lost 2, and I have no idea how the #1 team did, but I'm pretty sure we're still up there at the top, if not on top. Not that it matters....cuz there's no Blood Bowlers. *evil chuckle*