I did a little work on the family room over the weekend. Hauled out my sander and my paint and my latex gloves and my cute little spongey brushes and gave the shelving unit a little facelift.

It went from this........


to this......


Ok..right about now you're thinking "B-F-D..it's the same picture". AuContraire my friends, its not the same picture. My facelift was so subtle that its hardly noticable. I painted the face of the shelves and a thin part of the crown moulding at the top black. It looks much more dramatic in person than it does in these crappy pictures that I took with my phone cuz my camera batteries were dead.

Step off, Martha Stewart...I'm here now.

Just some stuff for today while I'm sitting here in a quiet house cuz everyone is gone.

Silence is golden and I'm content.
******************
I cleaned the house the weekend before last. Moved furniture. Rearranged. Puttered. Just did stuff. One week later the house is still clean. Still smells clean too.

Way cool.

*******************
This Empty Nest Business (ENB) isn't a bad gig . Its a dry run for ENB around here. #3 will be back in January. #4 will be back in May not counting Christmas Break. Am I allowed to say Christmas Break anymore? Did it officially become Winter Break? Can I even say Christmas? #2 prolly won't be back anytime soon. #1, well...she's still here, and I'm down with that...but she's never home very much and she'll be gone in a wink of an eye anyway. I've decided that I'm going to be practicing real hard so I get used to the new lifestyle in the short time I have right now, insuring that I'm fully prepared when ENB is for real.

******************
Offspring #4 is all set up with the dorm...she left Saturday. I went and visited yesterday after work, since I had to work Saturday and Sunday when she moved in and Monday we went out to the lake. Nice place. Brand new. She's in a 4 bedroom suite with only one other suite mate. She's lovin it so far. She's even *gasps* cooked for herself. AND cooked for the boys in the next suite. I'm thinking..."Danger, Danger Will Robinson!" dangerous precedent being set...they're gonna have her cook all the time, but no! They cooked for her last night. So thats cool.

******************
I saw an article in the News today about a couple in Niagara Falls who left their children in their car. In the sun. With the windows rolled up. On an 85 degree day. What the hell is wrong with these people???? The mother says they were just there for a few minutes. The neighbors said it was over 30 minutes. The oldest kid said it was for 'a long time'. The cops had to convice the oldest kid to unlock the doors so they could get them out. The cops said they were soaking wet from sweat. I cant believe they're not dead.

Now..here's the kicker....the kids were ages 9, 2 and 6 weeks. Ok..thats not the kicker, this is... The Sperm Donor was 21 and the Incubator was 22. Lets do math people....the Incubator was all of 13 when she first reproduced....THIRTEEN!!!

I have no words for this.
*******************
Well, slap me in the ass and paint the barn red. Not 3 minutes after posting this, what do I get?? Offspring walking thru the door. I guess practice is just going to have to start slow. ;-)

How I Spent My "Last Day" of Summer. A Photo Essay

We were invited out to the Sis-&-Bro-in-laws for the day. Couldnt have been a nicer day. I forgot to bring my camera dang it so these are all off my phone.


From my perch on my chair..this was the view to my right..

This picture down below here is my current desktop.

From my perch in my chair, this was my view dead ahead....

Alternate view dead ahead...

From my perch in my chair, my view to the left.....much later in the day.

Last night we had plans to go to the Bison's game. Last home game of the year...fan appreciation day with fireworks and all that.

The Spouse and I headed downtown early and we stopped at Dug's Dive for a beverage before the game. As it happened it was 2-4-1 happy hour from 3 till 6, so we had two. We're sitting there on the deck.....

....very peaceful and picturesque little setting, located right in the small boat harbor. Food smelled fantastic and we should have had a little dinner, but considering the game was going to start in an hour, we just stuck with our liquid diet. We'll dine next time we go....

For some reason....the windmills weren't working last night...none of them.


There was a sailboat race going on just over the breakwall....kinda hard to see in this picture down here....

So, anyway...we're sitting on the deck, having a couple, relaxing, talking....

When all of a sudden, The Spouse lets out this belch....not a loud one, mind you, just a little beer burp...and out of the corner of my eye, I see it....this toxic cloud...coming right at me. I had no time to react. My eyes were watering and I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Gross! After he gets done laughing at me while I'm gasping for breathable air, he says..."oh, yeah, that reminds me, I went to lunch today with Joe Head of the Ice Rink and got the rink back...with a 3 year service contract". Apparently, the noxious fumes triggered his memory of the burger he had for lunch. To which I replied..."Nice. And you and your digestive system just made my blog, pal".

Nice night for a ball game, tho...and some interesting cloud color just as the sun was setting.

Too bad they lost, 3-2.

Shakin' Hands and Kissin' Babies

A few pics from our favorite Congressman's event last night. It was a family oriented little gathering at his favorite restaurant. What can I say..he loves us..we love him.

There he is...waving to someone over there....


Oh, look..our favorite State Assemblyman. We love this guy too!

Quite a few people showed up for this shindig....

Wow...check it out...Eddie Murphy was there too! Ha! Not really, that's His Honor the Mayor. A dead ringer for Eddie...

Plenty of food..not that you could tell from this picture...all you see is rolls.

Holy What Happened to August, Batman

Dang!!! it's been one busy month. In addition to the regular everyday hours at work (10 to 3 everyday...no biggie, and don't get me wrong...I love my job) we had 16 parties booked for August. Two or three, sometimes four parties during the week and the last two weekends have been back to back Saturday and Sunday, so, we haven't a day off in 24 days. All we have to do is get thru tomorrow and we have TWO WHOLE DAYS OFF IN A ROW!!!! So close..yet so far away. Friday lunch is always a zoo and there's already almost 100 reservations for dinner. A few hours of controlled chaos and the weekend is MINE!! Here's the plan...I really really need to clean my house and Sunday looks like the weakest weather day so housework on Sunday after a complete and total slugfest on Saturday. I'm thinking on a raft in the pool.

I get a ton of this stuff from ChaCha...

I wish she would just come out and tell us how she really feels!!!!

This is what I woke up to this morning

Double helix.... I love when that happens

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Its Off To Disney She Goes....

Offspring #3 took off this morning for a 6 month stint as an intern at Disney.

How cool is that? I'm gonna miss my little festival companion.

And Miss Em....this is what happens when you give me a goofy face when I'm taking your picture! The Evil Mother side of me slaps it all over the internet!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

from The Buffalo News today...




A Canada-bound truck carrying 9,700 chickens tipped on the ramp to the northbound Niagara Thruway this afternoon, creating a fowl mess that stopped traffic.

The truck tipped as it left the Mainline Thruway to head north.

Authorities at the scene in Cheektowaga said early indications are the cause was unsafe speed or lane change; the driver suffered minor injuries.

The accident occurred at about 2:30 p.m.

Many chickens were killed in the wreck. There also was evidence of broken eggs.

The ramp from the Mainline Thruway westbound to the 190 northbound was closed during the cleanup; it was reopened by 4:10 p.m. The scene was expected to be cleaned up by 4:30 p.m.

The truck driver, Stanley P. Chesney, 47, who drives for Ontario Inc. of Walkerton, Ont., suffered abrasions on his left arm and left leg. He was taken to a local hospital.

Chesney told State Police at the scene that he was distracted while attempting to change lanes and lost control of his rig.

Several police cars and crews from the state Department of Transportation were on the scene.

Surviving chickens were to be taken to the Erie County SPCA in the Town of Tonawanda, where their conditions would be evaluated. The SPCA also was to do a count of the chickens that were killed in the accident.

I am so sick of hearing about Brett Favre.

What time did he take a shit today? Was that on the espn favre ticker?

Thats all.

Check this out...

I won this last night in a raffle at the annual JohnnyP. Golf Tournament Dinner. No..I havent taken up golf...that'll never happen...I was working.




Thats right..its an actual autographed drumhead...signed by all the Goo Boys. Pretty cool, huh?

Whats with people???

I just dont understand. Seemingly normal people gather for a celebration of some sort at a nice place and turn into friggin manner-less morons.

Why, yes...even tho this is the buffet table, we really love it when you move stuff around in order to position your glasses and beer bottles and purses and the occasional ass. Clearly, the flaming sterno and steam coming from the chafing dishes shouldnt interfere in your comfort.

Why, yes...we love it when you bring your attention deficit, over sugared, smart ass little children to what is clearly an adult affair. You just get comfy at the bar or your table with your beverage and gossip about this and that while the spawn run rampant and unsupervised.

By all means...please extinguish your cigarette on the patio, or the well manicured lawn, or just throw them into the bushes. Those ashtrays we have positioned around are just for decoration.

And don't forget...when the dessert is served, make sure you're first in line to pile up as much stuff as you can. Dont worry about those people at the end of the line...they dont really need anything sweet. They're just standing there to see how much you can put on your plate. We'll dispose of all the leftover sweets you leave on the table when you roll your lard ass out of the joint.

Can you tell we had a nerve wracking party today? This little red headed monster wasn't in the place 10 minutes and she caused over $150 worth of damage. She broke a statue, tipped over a small marble topped table, nearly knocked out the lattice while trying to climb the gazebo, and broke a plant. I blame the parents. "oh, Skyler, say you're sorry....tell the man, you're sorry for breaking his statue"...and she stands there with her finger in her mouth not saying a word. 5 minutes later, mommy is back with a drink in her hand and the little red wrecking machine is tearing up the place again. I mean, c'mon...offer to pay for the thing!!! Show some class!! Show some balls and teach your kid some manners. Better, yet...leave them home. And no...perhaps we shouldn't "move this stuff so the kids don't ruin it" Do you believe that?? Someone actually said that to me today as I was picking up the aforementioned marble topped table that little Jason ran into for the third time.

"Maybe you should move this stuff so the kids don't get at it".

To which I replied, "Perhaps the kids should be watched"

"We are watching them" he says

"Humpf....Tell that to the statue with the broken arm over there" What an asshole. Move the stuff my Aunt Fanny! Do us a favor and dont reproduce anymore, k?

I've been mulling this one over for a while..

...when I was in NJ, I stepped out to have a smoke during the reception and this woman says to me... (in a thick NJ accent) "Thaaats a vaary attraaactive ooouutfit you're weaaaaring. I wouldn't have tha nerrrrve to weeeaaar it myself but it looks vaary attraaactive on ewe"

Ummmmmm...ok..thank you I think?

Showers

Why cant shower heads in hotels be installed higher? I'm tall but I'm not a contortionist, thank you very much. Its rather unsafe to be doing the limbo whilst trying to wash my hair.

Thats all

On New Jersey

Ever drive in New Jersey? How 'bout that roadway system? Nicely laid out, ain't it? Ummmm.....I don't think so! Took us all of 10 minutes to get lost. And we followed the directions from the hotel website, the car rental guy, the 'let me show you your car' guy, and the attendant at the gate. It took the nice 'can you fix me up with some food so I gave him a couple bucks' crackhead guy at the gas station in the middle of the ghetto to get us where we needed to go. Maybe it was cuz he repeated the directions so many times...or perhaps it was the hopping around and waving that let us to the Garden State Parkway...I dunno. By the time we get to our hotel in Toms River...its l:00ish. It should have been 8ish but we didnt take off from Buffalo until 8:30...almost a 2 hour delay due to weather on the coast. Then, funny story, I'm checking into the hotel and the guy says...'sign this, its our no smoking and no party policy'. Being a little punchy from the flight, which by the way only lasted 45 minutes, and the fun ride, with The Maternal Unit as my navigator...(thats a whole 'nother story in itself) I say...'yeah, its me and my mom, she's, like 70 something..and her twin is here too...we're gonna party lots!' He kinda chuckled...the polite chuckle you give when its not really funny and you wish the person would just be on their way.

So, anyway...the wedding was nice. Unbelievable food. The buffet during cocktail hour could have fed an army. And then they bring out the dinner buffet. You name it, they had it.

Best part was going to Sea Side Boardwalk Saturday night. I love beaches and boardwalks. In fact..I could be a beach bum. Seriously. Its my ambition. I just need to win the lottery so I can have the expensive condo on the beach.

Here's a little slide show, mostly of the boardwalk. I didnt take too many pictures. I dont really know why..I just didnt

Got food??? or Festival Time, Part Deux

My Festival Companion a/k/a Offspring#3 and I just got back from The Taste of Buffalo. We went earlyish again to avoid the crowds and the heat. We escaped neither!!! Thankyajeeesis for the breeze off the natural airconditioner that is Lake Erie. In the words of my companion .. 'whewwww its hot out here'.

With food tickets purchased we start out on our culinary journey. Deep Fried Ravioli seemed like the best way to start things.

We were there, like, 10 minutes and one of the first stops we made was at Ms Goodies stand(also where we ended our trip, but more on that later)for an ear of roasted sweet corn. There's nothing like an ear of corn roasted over an open fire...love it love it. Anyway...#3 opens up the husks of her corn, takes one bite and this guy comes up between us with this news camera and starts taping her whilst she's munching on the corn...too cool."We just want to get you eating the corn" he says. And she's trying not to laugh while she's eating and she's got this little string of corn silk hanging off her lip and I'm having this Roseanne Rosannadanna moment with the 'little bitty corn silk just hangin' right there on her lip. It just wouldnt fall off...I thought I was gonna die!!" Now we have to watch Ch.7 News to see if she made the highlight reel. We continued down Delaware sampling a little of this and a little of that...all of it good.

Now back to Ms Goodies....when #3 was getting her ear, one of the other items being sold at the booth was a "Junkyard Dog". It looked really good and smelled even better, so I thought that perhaps I'd get one after we made the rounds and saw what the other wares were up and down the festival. Well,,,dontcha know, the Junkyard Dogs was on my mind the whole time and I decided that I had have one. Try this on for size.....



A piece of deep fried fish...done to perfection, I might add...topped with french fries, coleslaw and hot sauce, wrapped up in a lightly deep fried pita.

DING DING DING!!!!!! We have a winner!!! Unfreakingbelieveably DELICIOUS!!!

That thing pretty much did us in.

I'm going to take a nap

What??? A softball field in my backyard???

Either that or some cosmic crop circle from some unknown alien who swooped down. Is swooped a word?



This is the aftermath of last weeks mudbowl grad party. It looks like 1/2 an infield....and the grass looks dead. A couple of days ago it looked like mudcaked grass...and now, not so much.

Captain America!!!

It just wouldnt be a holiday without Johnny Five wearing a hat



For more pics from the Festive Fourth at Lynn and Al's out at the lake go here

I finally went over to the Apple store

So, yeah, ever since I had to have the computer reformatted I was hesitant about reinstalling Itunes cuz a bunch of people told me that I'd lose all the tuneage I purchased from the Itunes store. Thats a couple hundred dollars worth of music people!!!

I told the guy at Apple my predicament and he explained that if I do this and that then this, then all should be well. Well...I got the Itunes program back on my computer and VOILA!!! All the music was still there!!! I was esctatic!!

Remember, transfer and sync...not erase and sync.

Wish me luck...I'm goin in.

Happy Independence Day!

The Spouse and I and 10 of our friends went to the Bison's Game/July 3rd Extravaganza last night. Good times, good times.



Too bad the Bisons lost....down 6-2 in the 9th and they come back to tie it, but lose it in the 13th. Yeah...thats right the 13th inning. It was kind of a long game.

The BPO played all their patriotic music and then the fireworks started.


I was a little diappointed in the fireworks....they werent as spectacular as in past years...I couldnt even get a decent photo of them. Well...I got a couple of so-so ones but we were sitting behind home plate, and we had that protective netting above us, so all the pics I took look like I took them from a camera in my knee while I was wearing fishnet hose. So I lifted the fireworks pic above from google images.

We did seem to enjoy quite a few of these....

Girls night

We went to see Wicked last night. My Maternal Unit, 3 of the 4 Offspring and #4's best friend...(who is actually an Honorary Offspring).

What a fantastic show!!! I had high expectations...after hearing all sorts of good things from numerous people...and my expectations were surpassed. I laughed, I cried. It was amazing. Katie Rose Clarke, who played Glinda (aka Galinda with a 'Ga') was freakin hilarious and played the part perfectly. Carmen Cusak as Elphaba, equally amazing...what a set of pipes on that woman.

The restoration at Shea's is beautiful. That grand old theatre looks divine.



I took this pic with my phone...its not the clearest picture but I had to throw it in here.

Here's to Class Clowns

Offspring #4 in all her glory.



ok...so the picture was taken the day after graduation cuz she had to be at school for pre ceremony stuff at 8:30 in the MORNING, and she really didnt have a tee shirt and shorts on under the gown, but who's counting.

And yes...she was voted "Class Clown".

Down came the rain and washed the party out

Son of a bitch!!! It never rains when I have a party.....NEVER!!! Till yesterday that is. Well...I guess theres a first time for everything and why, I suppose, I should never say never.

We thought we'd have one last big blowout party for Offspring #4's graduation,since we're now done with the whole high school thing. Nice idea, crappy weather.

This is Offspring #2's Fiancee's foot.


Why yes...he does have toes...you just CANT SEE THEM CUZ MY YARD WAS A MUDPIT!!!. And that was UNDER the tent!!! Damned good thing we ordered sides for the tent, considering that at one point the rain was coming SIDEWAYS when the wind whipped up and the lightning was flashing and the thunder was shaking everything and stakes were being pulled out of the ground and a pole was falling off the tent and the thing looked as if it were ready to fall right down and Offspring #3 and I were out there trying to prevent that and I really suck at hammering tent stakes. And that was right after we got done setting everything up all nice and pretty.

Damn you Weather Gods!!



It did kinda clear up a bit....but the mud....the mud was incredible.



I finally got all that mud off my toes this afternoon. Major pedicure work there....I soaked and I scraped and soaked some more. Eh...I needed a pedi anyway. Of course I had to wait till my head stopped throbbing to do it. I only had a few beers. Who knew jello shots packed such a whallop? I think those kids...they kept bringing them over to me...wanted a rerun of #3's party and me drunk jumping in the pool fully clothed. No need for that this time since I was pretty much soaked the whole day anyway. Did I mention that it rained?

Get a load of this cloud action...looks like something out of a horror movie...not that I watch a lot of horror flicks...but if I did...this is what a cloud in it would look like. Lots of lightning and thunder up there.



The rain started about 5 minutes after that shot.....then the hail came. Not quite so much as they had in the northtowns this afternoon, but still...it came.



Whats that look like...marble size? Glass eye size?? Packed a whallop too...got hit by a few as I stupidly stepped out of the garage.



Not much accumulation...the crap didnt last more than 5 minutes. And WTF...its not right to be talking hail in the middle of June.

It's Festival Time!!

Allentown Arts Festival Time, that is.

Offspring #3 and I headed down earlyish to beat the crowds. As you can see...foot traffic isn't too bad. What a gorgeous day it was for browsing and people watching.



This was the scene outside the Buffalo Homecoming Event, which will take place in a couple of weeks.



Crowds are getting deeper


See that church spire there in the middle of the pic? Thats Ani DiFranco's 'Babeville'..where Righteous Babe Studios are, and The Church..an awesome venue..my cousin had his wedding reception there a couple weeks ago. But I digress... The festival stretched all the way down there...great event.




I bought a couple of these little wind chime guys at AllenWest which happens, ironically, on the west side of Allen Street. Kind of an Artsy-Fartsy meets Kitschy dimension.

My Iris are beginning to bloom!

And So It Goes

Today is Offspring #4's last Monday of high school....and in her words..."the end of the B's dynasty" at DHS. She's making sure everyone know that too.

Its also so the 30th anniversary of captivity wedded bliss for the Spouse and I. I'm getting brakes put on my car after work...he's off to his golf league. Quite a celebration. Thats just how we roll.

My Personal Hero Award

For Service Above and Beyond the Call of Duty....I hereby announce that these two smart, caring and beautiful young ladies are officially presented the title of....

My Personal Hero

They saw a travesty and took action to right the wrong.

They saw a friend in a dire domestic circumstance and removed her from it in a brilliant, well thought out, completely legal manner.

They saved a life.

Ladies...I am unbelievable proud of you both.

And not to brag or anything...but the one on the right is Offspring #4