Monday, February 28, 2011

The Demise Of The Human Barometer

Ever since I can remember, my sinus cavity has afforded me luxury of being able to predict the weather. I knew when it was going to rain. Get warmer. Get colder. I know, you're jealous aren't you? I mean who wouldn't want that sensation of your head coming this close to exploding. The constant post nasal drip. The ballon inflating and deflating behind your eyes. Yeah, that was me....operative word being WAS.

About 2 weeks ago, I woke up to a plugged up ear. Not a rare occurrence when the weather changes, most notably when the seasons are ready to flip, so I really didn't think much of it. This time was a little different in that the plugged-up-ness was accompanied by severe sinus congestion. I was miserable... Not only could I not hear.. I couldn't breathe thru my nose,in or out.. I couldn't blow my nose, and swallowing after chewing was an adventure. I was completely plugged up.

As luck would have it, I had a scheduled doctors appointment, so I figured I'd tough it out until then. When I got to the doctors office, I immediately whined to the nurse about my predicament. *WHAAAA* I think I have an ear infection. *WHAAAAA* I think I have a sinus infection. I don't break out the whine card often, but I know how to play it when I do. So the doctor has a looksee up my nose and says "Nope, no sinus infection. Take some Sudafed, use some Afrin" "Oh, yeah???" I replied...."What about my ear? My balance is all off.. I can't hear, My balance is all off and the sssshhhhhing noise is making me crazy!" Ace of Whine card played right there.
So, he looks in my ear. "There's a little wax I there. If you want I'll have the nurse flush it for you.". If I want???? No, just let me be miserable. Get her in here.

So, now I'm a 6 year old and the nurse is getting prepped to get the marble I shoved in there, out. Really, that's what I felt like! First syringe is getting filled up with nice warm water and promptly explodes all over the exam table. And my leg/butt area. Near the pocket of my jeans. Where my phone is stashed. Great. And this poor nurse. Apparently her whole day had been going like that. She kept biggie, it's only water, let's get on with this. Well, after the first syringe-full of water I could feel something gurgling around in my head. After the third syringe-full there was a miracle!!! This enormous ball of crap fell into the drain bowl and immediately, the bubble that inflated inside my head 2 weeks earlier BURST !! I jumped off the exam table with the drain bowl in my hand, yelling "Holy Crap, I can hear!! And I can breathe! Oh My Gawd, you are my HERO right now." and then I looked down into the drain bowl and I saw the source of my problem. Picture the largest pea you've ever seen, color it black and add a heartbeat to it. That thing must have been in there for years. I'm hearing things now that I've never heard before.

And I haven't taken a sinus pill in a week.

No comments: